


electric confidence

by greekgod



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Blow Jobs, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Phone Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Semi-Public Sex, changbin is the one with feelings. what a loser., im kidding, there is slight plot so, there's a lot going on and changbin is losing his mind for an entire semester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-01-15 06:02:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18492856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greekgod/pseuds/greekgod
Summary: Changbin is beginning to think the universe is punishing him in some fucked up, convoluted way for ignoring his attraction to Chan for so long. Or maybe, Chan just has the guts to do what Changbin doesn't.





	electric confidence

**Author's Note:**

> [redacted]: "no homo" chan says as he swallows changbin whole w no gag reflex
> 
> this entire thing started off as like a joke between me and my friends but i needed something dumb and easy to write between other projects and apparently that was this. sorry stayo3.
> 
> title taken from drug by simple creatures. 
> 
> this is the first time i've ever written nsfw fic so i apologize for anything that might seem awkward/weird. go easy on me please

“Hey, can I suck you off?” 

Half of the water in Changbin’s mouth gets sucked down his windpipe and the other half gets spit to the floor as he doubles over in his chair. Sputtering and gasping for breath between coughs, he wonders if this is how he dies. With one of his best friends asking to give him a blow job in a studio room of the university music building which sends him into a fit where he coughs up a lung. Sounds like a pretty shitty way to die if you ask him. 

Chan reaches over and pulls on Changbin wrists, lifting his arms up above his head, mumbling about how it’ll make it easier to breathe. It does help, but Changbin can’t really focus on how well he can breathe again when Chan’s question keeps replaying in his head. 

“Chan?!” Changbin practically cries. “What the fuck?”  _ What the fuck!  _

He and Chan have been best friends since Changbin’s freshman year of high school and he’s just begun his junior year of college. They’ve probably kissed before when they were both drunk or high out of their minds. If he thinks hard enough, Changbin could probably remember. But  _ this?  _ This is a line neither of them has ever crossed. 

“Look,” Chan says, removing his hands from Changbin’s wrists and pushing against the floor with his legs so his chair rolls backward. “This project is stressing you out, right?” 

Changbin nods. He’s been in some sort of block for weeks and this demo needs to be done for class in the next couple of days. Chan had tried to help but they have two different styles when it comes to producing and nothing was coming together right. 

“Maybe you just need to relax a little,” Chan continues. 

“And so you think giving me a blowjob is going to help me relax?” 

“Yeah? Doing that kind of stuff releases all kind of chemicals in your brain. Or at least that’s what people say.” 

_ Fuck _ , Changbin thinks, pinching the bridge of his nose. This cannot be happening right now. He’s going to wake up any minute and find out this is just a fucked up trick his mind is playing on him. Revenge for repressing his interest in Chan for so long he supposes.

That’s the biggest problem here really. If this was Woojin or Minho asking, Changbin would probably let them because he has no real interest in them beyond a platonic relationship. But this is Chan and it would be a lie for Changbin to say he hasn’t imagined being more than friends with him. It hasn’t developed into a full-fledged, head-over-heels crush yet though, thank God. 

The rational part of his brain says not to let it happen, that it’ll only make things worse. The head-over-heels crush might rear its ugly head after this. But the dumb, sleep deprived, college student part of his brain says fuck it. This demo needs to get done and Chan is offering to do something that might help. At the end of the day, even if it doesn’t help get the demo done, at least he gets Chan’s lips on his dick and an orgasm out of it. That’s a win, really. 

The only window in the room is the small one on the door, easily covered by the small curtain installed on it. Probably not the best idea on the university’s part but fuck, Changbin is thankful for it. Chan watches with eyebrows raised as Changbin gets up, closes the curtain, and locks the door before returning to his seat and sighing. “Okay.” 

“We don’t have to do this, you know? I’m cool if this isn’t something you want.” The small smirk on Chan’s lips has disappeared and his voice is soft and sincere. Changbin appreciates it but he’s had his mini breakdown and now he wants to come, goddammit. 

“I want to,” He says, probably a little too enthusiastically. 

Chan smiles, something new flashing across his eyes. A blush creeps across Changbin’s cheeks and the back of his neck. The room feels ten degrees hotter than it felt five minutes ago. 

Honestly, he doesn’t know what to do or how to initiate this, having never done something like this with a friend before. He’s hooked up with people at parties, had an awkward fuck in a car maybe once or twice with a stranger, but in this tiny studio room, he sits frozen. Luckily, Chan seems to know exactly what he’s doing. 

Chan rolls forward in his chair, slotting one of his knees between Changbin’s and pressing the other to the outside of one of Changbin’s legs. He lifts Changbin’s chin to bring their lips together and Changbin’s eyes flutter closed. It’s gentle. Better than what he imagined it might be, those times when the intrusive thoughts nudged their way into his mind while they hung out in Changbin’s apartment. 

But Changbin wants more. Wants to be closer. He doesn’t even know where the thought comes from but he’s going to get what he wants one way or another.

“Hold on,” Changbin breathes, hands falling from the back of Chan’s neck to his shoulders. “Hold on.” 

“We can stop,” Chan reminds him. 

“No—just—here,” Changbin pushes Chan back in his chair a little and pushes his own chair back enough to get up. He settles down on Chan’s lap before swallowing the small  _ oh _ Chan lets out. Like this, Changbin can properly thread his fingers through Chan’s hair. Chan’s hands rest on Changbin’s hips, fingers toying with the bottom of his t-shirt. 

Chan licks across Changbin’s lips and Changbin parts them willingly. It’s sloppy, Chan’s tongue exploring Changbin’s mouth and their teeth clacking together occasionally. Chan tastes a little like watered down iced coffee but Changbin doesn’t mind. He’s wanted this for a while. The grip on his hips tightens, the pads of Chan’s fingers burning into the skin above his jeans. In response, he tugs lightly at Chan’s hair. 

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Chan groans, pulling back a little. He mouths at Changbin’s jaw and neck, being careful not to leave marks. 

Changbin’s jeans are becoming increasingly uncomfortable as his cock hardens. It’s a little embarrassing how just making out with Chan has gotten him this hard. He grinds his hips down experimentally, trying to find some kind of friction. A whine escapes his throat as he feels Chan’s half-hard dick against his own. “Chan.” Another whine. “ _ Please _ .” God, he’s literally begging for this. Who even is he. 

“I got you,” Chan murmurs. He moves his hand up under Changbin’s shirt and presses his palm flat to Changbin’s stomach, feeling it tense. Changbin grinds his hips down again and Chan lets out a small laugh, breath fanning across Changbin’s jaw. He presses a quick kiss to Changbin’s lips before saying, “Okay, okay. Up.” 

Changbin retreats back to his own chair and sits at the edge. He presses the heel of his hand to his still clothed cock as Chan sinks to the floor in front of him and looks up through long eyelashes. The fluorescent studio lights reflect in Chan’s eyes in small star-like highlights. 

“You’re pretty,” Changbin says without much thought, mind practically screaming at him as the words fall from his mouth. He really shouldn’t be saying something like that, not in this situation anyway, but he can’t stop himself. Chan is so pretty like this. 

Chan smiles, full and swollen lips parting. He slides his hands up Changbin’s thighs, stopping just short of where Changbin wants him to. Shooing Changbin’s hand away, he unbuttons Changbin’s jeans and signals for Changbin to lift his hips enough to pull them off. They’re abandoned in a pool around Changbin’s ankles as Chan focuses his attention to the tent in Changbin’s boxer briefs. 

“Okay?” He asks, hand hovering just above it. 

Changbin resists the urge to cant his hips up, instead, he settles on choking out, “Yes, please,  _ fuck _ .” 

Chan presses a palm to Changbin’s clothed erection, just like Changbin had done to himself moments before. He slides his hand across the length of Changbin’s cock, dragging the fabric against the skin and Changbin throws his head back, letting out a small gasp. Changbin’s hands grip the arms of the chair as Chan works him to full hardness, precome beginning to stain the fabric. 

Changbin stares at the ceiling, breaths coming out ragged. He’s a little too scared to look at Chan, at his best friend between his knees. Chan shifts and Changbin feels a hot breath near his cock. His body tense up at the sensation. And then it’s gone. 

“Changbin,” Chan says softly. “Look at me.” 

Swallowing thickly, loud enough that Changbin feels like it echoes in the room, he shifts his gaze down to where Chan is still lightly palming his cock and then to Chan’s eyes. Chan removes his hand and Changbin whines at the loss of friction. Sitting up as far as he can on his knees, Chan leans forward and Changbin bends to meet him halfway, lips chasing after Chan’s. 

“Are you sure?” Chan asks against Changbin’s lips, breath fanning across Changbin’s cupid’s bow. “I know this is a little awkward but I want to make you feel good. I want you to be comfortable though. We don’t have to do this.”

“I’m sure,” Changbin says, voice sounding surer than he had expected it to. He’s nervous, yes, but out of all of his friends to do this with, out of everyone he’s ever hooked up with, he feels most comfortable with Chan. And,  _ oh,  _ Changbin thinks,  _ there’s the crush.  _

Chan tugs at the waistband of Changbin’s boxers and Changbin lifts his hips once more. The drag of fabric against his cock causes him to suck in a breath as he tries to keep his hips steady. His cock springs free, finally, and stands swollen and curved in front of Chan’s face. Changbin watches as Chan eyes it appreciatively, licking his lips almost hungrily like he can’t wait to have Changbin in his mouth. The thought goes straight to Changbin’s dick and it twitches slightly, precome beading pathetically at the head. 

“Shit, Changbin,” Chan says, taking Changbin’s cock in his hand and giving it a few lazy strokes, spreading the precome from the head to the base. 

Changbin lets out a sound from the back of his throat and grips the arms of the chair harder. He squirms in the chair impatiently, silently begging for Chan to pick up the pace. Chan’s free hand rests on one of Changbin’s thighs, rubbing circles inside. 

It’s hard to form thoughts like this but as Changbin watches Chan swirl a thumb around the head of his cock, dipping it just slightly into the slit, he thinks he could come like this. With Chan doing nothing but stroking his cock and leaving comforting touches to his skin. But there's that ever-present want for more. 

“ _ Chan _ —your mouth—please,” He begs. “Want it so bad.” 

Groaning, Chan tightens his grip on Changbin’s thigh and picks up the pace of his other hand slightly before pulling it away. Changbin cries out softly at the loss of contact, hips canting upward trying to find friction again. 

Chan laughs, a small puff of hair through his nose and then in what Changbin assumes to be some attempt at getting him to relax, winks up at him and says, “No homo.” Changbin cringes, wants to say  _ we’re both gay  _ but the thought gets interrupted as Chan finally, _ finally _ puts his mouth on Changbin’s cock. 

Taking hold of Changbin’s cock again, Chan lays his tongue flat against the base of it without warning and licks up the underside of the shaft. Changbin hisses, squeezing his eyes shut and throwing his head back once more. With his free hand, Chan gently pries one of Changbin’s hands from the arms of the chair and guides it to his hair. Changbin immediately tangles his fingers in Chan’s curls. 

Chan swirls his tongue around the head, dipping ever so slightly into the slit occasionally. He teases a little more, placing small kitten licks to the shaft and nosing at the base of Changbin’s cock before taking all of Changbin into his mouth. 

“Holy sh—” Changbin gasps, words breaking off in something that sounds akin to a strangled sob. Chan’s mouth is so  _ warm  _ and the pace at which he bobs his head is agonizingly slow. Changbin is pretty sure Chan is going to kill him.

Chan pulls off with a small pop, a thin line of spit trailing from his wet lips to the head of Changbin’s cock. “Good?” He asks.

Finally opening his eyes, Changbin looks down at Chan. At his swollen, wet lips and wide eyes seeking praise. “So good,” He says, combing a hand through Chan’s hair for emphasis. “You’re so good.” 

It must be enough for Chan because he puts his mouth back on Changbin’s cock and hollows his cheeks, all while keeping eye contact with Changbin as best he can. Changbin’s eyes flicker away, blush spreading further across his cheeks if possible, and looks down to where Chan’s lips are drawn taut around his cock. Arousal pulls low in his gut and threatens to snap. 

Chan traces his tongue across a vein on the underside of Changbin’s cock and lets his teeth graze it ever so slightly. Changbin takes in a sharp breath, hips jerking forward. His cock slides further into Chan’s mouth and Chan takes it easily. The mental image of fucking Chan’s mouth plants itself in Changbin’s mind. The string in his gut gets pulled even tighter. 

“I’m close— _ oh fuck _ —Chan, please, I’m so close.” 

Chan wraps around a hand around the base of Changbin’s cock, fisting what his mouth can’t reach. He hums softly and the vibrations are almost enough to push Changbin completely over the edge. 

“ _ Chan _ ,” Changbin chokes out, trying to pull his hips back and push Chan’s head away but Chan stays stubbornly in place. Somewhere in the back of Changbin’s mind, it clicks. Chan is going to let him come in his mouth.  _ Holy fuck.  _

It only takes a few more strokes of Chan’s hand and the flick of his tongue across the head of Changbin’s cock. Changbin tightens his grip on Chan’s hair as he feels the string finally snap and comes down Chan’s throat with a pathetic, strangled sob. Chan swallows around him, free hand back to rubbing soft circles to Changbin’s thigh as he waits for him to come down from the high. 

When Changbin finally relaxes, Chan pulls off and licks across his lips to catch any spit or come left. He leans back, thighs against calves, and looks up at Changbin with swollen lips and messy hair. “Better?” 

“Are you even real?” Changbin asks dumbly, eliciting a laugh from Chan. 

“Was it good?” 

Changbin has to resist the urge to pull Chan up and into a kiss.  _ Was it good?  _ He doesn’t think he’s come like that from just a blowjob in years. Not that he can tell Chan that without also adding that he might have a crush so he settles on “It was great” instead. 

Changbin pulls back on his underwear and jeans and Chan returns to his seat, pawing at his hair and trying to fix it as best he can. There’s a small part of Changbin that can’t help but feel a little guilty as he sees the outline of Chan’s still half-hard cock in his sweatpants. 

“What about you?” Changbin blurts out before he can stop himself. He nods in the direction of Chan’s crotch. 

“It’s okay!” Chan smiles. “I just wanted to make you feel good.” He glances at the clock on the computer. “I should probably head back to my apartment soon anyway. Or else Jisung is going to think I got abducted or something.” 

Changbin snorts. “Jisung would.” 

Chan pushes a few more pieces of hair into place, using the computer screen as a mirror the best he can, before pulling on his backpack.  

As Chan lays a hand on the doorknob, Changbin says, “Thank you, by the way. For wanting to help.” 

Chan smiles and unlocks the door, pulling it open. “Don’t stay too long!” He calls over his shoulder as he exits the room. “Good luck!” 

Once he hears the door click closed, Changbin presses the heels of his palms to his eyes and tries not to scream. He is so fucked. 

 

——

 

“I let Chan give me a blowjob,” Changbin says in lieu of greeting when he walks into the living room of his apartment two hours later. He lets his backpack slide to the floor at the foot of the couch and falls backward onto it, head landing softly in Woojin’s lap. 

“You what?!” Woojin asks a little incredulously. 

At the same time, Minho’s head snaps up from where he sits on a barstool checking his phone and eating cup ramen. “Nice.” 

“We were working on my project and he said maybe I just needed to relax.” Changbin sits up and pulls his knees to his chest. His socked feet almost slip off the old, creased leather of their couch. 

He can’t remember exactly how Woojin and Minho had convinced him to move into their shitty apartment with them. Just that he wanted to get out of the dorms after his freshman year and with Chan staying one more year to be an RA—to make money without finding a real job he had said—this apartment was really his only option. Chan had since moved into an apartment with Jisung but Changbin couldn’t be bothered to move all his stuff out. 

And living with Woojin and Minho isn’t so bad. The only time he truly ever regrets moving in with the couple is right after walking in on them when looking for something in the apartment. Unfortunately, it had happened more than once. 

“And then he offered to blow you?” Woojin asks, pulling Changbin’s thoughts back to the present. 

Changbin nods. It’s a lot more awkward to talk about now and the words feel caught in his throat. Woojin and Minho know how he feels about Chan (roommate privileges) but it’s still hard to force the words out.

“Well did it help?” Minho asks through a noodle-filled mouth. It’s frankly kind of disgusting. 

“What?” 

Minho swallows and asks again, “Did you get any work done on your demo?” 

“Yeah, I finished it actually,” Changbin says, sounding a little dumbfounded. 

Despite the anxiety about his growing feelings, Changbin had physically felt more relaxed. He managed to fix the earlier parts of the song that had been bothering him and come up with something for the last bit of it within an hour. It still needed some editing work but he was pretty happy with what he had to turn into class. 

“Then it’s no problem, right?” Minho shrugs. 

“Minho,” Woojin says, sending a pointed look towards his boyfriend. Minho shrugs and sends a look back that Changbin can only guess is supposed to mean “What?”

“What if it makes things weird between us?” Even now as they only talk about it, Changbin can clearly imagine the way Chan’s lips had looked around his cock. If this is how it’s going to be every time he even thinks or looks at Chan, he isn’t looking forward to it. How is he supposed to not be awkward when he keeps imagining something like  _ that _ on top of the fact that he sometimes thinks dating Chan would be really nice. “I really like him.”

“I know,” Woojin tells him, patting Changbin’s thigh. “Maybe you should tell him that.”

“He’s obviously attracted to you in some way or else he wouldn’t have offered,” Minho adds. 

Changbin doesn’t voice it aloud, but Minho’s comment doesn’t actually help. His brain skips right over the part where Chan might reciprocate his feelings and straight to wondering what a friends with benefits situation with Chan would be like. He knows it wouldn’t end well, especially considering he already has feelings for Chan. 

“I can’t.” Changbin drags his hands down his face. “God, he was so  _ nice  _ about it too. He kept asking if it was okay and reminding me that we could stop if I changed my mind.” 

Minho and Woojin exchange looks. Changbin doesn’t know what it means. 

“The more you think about it,” Woojin reasons, “the higher chance things have of getting awkward between you guys.” 

“It happened and now it’s over. One time thing.” Minho mimes wiping his hands together like he’s trying to clean them off. 

“I guess.”

 

——

 

Honest to God, Changbin means for it to be a one-time thing. He really, truly does. And for the most part, it goes pretty well. He turns his demo in and gets a good grade and feedback. There’s enough time before midterms and his next big project for him to relax and spend time with his friends, including Chan. Neither of them brings up what happened and things are surprisingly not awkward between them at all.

Unfortunately—or maybe fortunately—Chan’s schedule isn’t at a low point like Changbin’s is. Two weeks after their stunt in the music studio, Chan sprawls across Changbin’s bed, complaining about his own project. Changbin’s monkey brain decides it’s the perfect opportunity to fool around with Chan again. 

As much as Changbin had tried to forget about the way Chan’s lips look around his cock and the way Chan had looked up at him, the memories were persistent and stayed just at the back of his mind. He was a little embarrassed by the number of times Chan’s face had made an appearance in his mind when getting off over the course of the two weeks after it happened. And now Chan is in his room, stressed as hell, and presenting the perfect cover for Changbin to act on his feelings. Even if he doesn’t explain those feelings outright. 

“Let me get you off,” Changbin says. “I owe you for last time.” 

And that’s how it starts. Changbin doesn’t know if he would go as far as describing them as friends with benefits, though he figures that would be the best explanation. It doesn’t happen often, but every couple of days or weeks—when one of them is stressed to their breaking point—they’ll seek each other out. Chan is happy to help Changbin relax and Changbin revels in the way Chan reacts to anything he does. 

The turning point comes over Thanksgiving break. Chan goes home for Thanksgiving day itself but spends the rest of their off days at his apartment, leaving his bedroom open for visiting family. Changbin, on the other hand, spends his entire break back home. 

The holidays aren’t a particularly stressful time for either of them—their home lives are both good. Which is why when Changbin’s phone lights up with Chan’s contact picture one night over break, Changbin doesn’t expect anything. He especially doesn’t expect Chan’s opening comment to just be, “Need you.” 

Changbin’s breath hitches in his throat out of fear. His first instinct is to assume something is wrong. He sits up in bed, pressing his phone harder against his ear. 

“What happened?” He asks, panicked. “Where are you?” 

There’s a small chuckle on the other end and part of the tension in Changbin’s shoulder’s dissipates. “I’m fine. I promise. No need to be so worried.” A pause. Static fills the line as Changbin waits for Chan to continue speaking. If something isn’t wrong, then Changbin really is at a loss for why Chan is calling him. “I just— _ Changbin.”  _

And oh.  _ Oh.  _ Changbin’s breath hitches again. He’s become familiar with the way his name sounds on Chan’s lips, breathy and pleading. Chan isn’t calling him because he’s in trouble; Chan is calling because he’s turn on. And he wants Changbin. 

Both Changbin’s dick and heart shouldn’t react that way they do. 

Changbin turns the TV in his room on and puts the volume up a couple of notches, hoping it’ll be enough to drown out any noises that he might make. It should be late enough in the night for his family to be asleep but just in case. “Hold on,” He says into his phone and drops it onto his bed. His hands tremble as he locks the door to his room. 

Picking his phone back up, he settles back onto his bed, his back against the headboard. “Okay.” It comes out shakily and Changbin is embarrassed by how easily he gave into this. 

“We don’t have to do this,” Chan says, sounding a little more put together. Changbin’s heart twists again. Every single time they got each other off, Chan always made sure to tell Changbin they could stop. That they didn’t have to do anything at all if Changbin didn’t want to. 

But Changbin always wants Chan. He considers it a fatal flaw. 

Something shifts once Changbin gives his consent. He can hear Chan moving on the other end of the line but he’s frozen in place, feeling just as lost as he had that first night in the studio. 

“I don't—“ The movement on the other ends stop as Chan waits for Changbin to finish his sentence. Changbin takes in a shaky breath and tries again. “I’ve never done this before. The phone thing.” 

“That’s okay,” Chan says gently. Changbin can practically hear the small smile in his voice. “I’ll walk you through it, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

“Have you ever fingered yourself?” Chan asks, followed by the distinct sound of a zipper being undone. 

Changbin follows his example and pulls off his sweatpants, phone pressed between his shoulder and ear. He keeps his boxers on. “Yes.” 

“Do it for me?” 

“Okay,” Changbin whimpers, letting a hand fall to his clothed cock. He’s almost half hard and Chan’s request only speeds up the process. With his other hand, he puts his phone on speaker with the lowest volume possible and reaches over to his bedside table. He rifles through the drawer loudly, hoping Chan can hear, until his fingers wrap around the small bottle of lube he keeps there. 

There’s a couple of muffled sounds from Chan’s end and Changbin pauses, trying to listen. He wants to know what Chan’s doing, wants him to be a little louder, but his voice gets caught in his throat when he tries to ask. Instead, he focuses back on Chan’s request. 

He finally sheds his boxers, tossing them to the floor with his sweatpants, and props himself up in a comfortable position. Close his phone, he pops the cap of the lube off so Chan knows what he’s doing since words are failing him. He coats his fingers generously. The tremble is slowly subsiding but he’s still nervous. 

His eyes flutter closed as he circles a finger around his rim and he lets out a small gasp. When he finally pushes the tip of his finger in, small gasps turn into a strangled sound as he gets used to the feeling.

“Slowly,” Chan says. His voice sounds like it’s coming through clenched teeth. “Talk to me.” 

“Been a while,” Changbin says, finally finding his voice. He and Chan had never gone further than blowjobs—quick handjobs if they were in a rush. “What— _ ah fuck _ —what are you doing?” He asks, hoping Chan takes over the conversation and that his voice will distract him from the sting. 

“Thinking about that time in the library bathroom,” Chan replies. “How good you were.” 

Changbin shudders. He’s suddenly aware of his painfully hard cock as it twitches. With his free hand, he thumbs around the head, spreading the precome trailing from the slit, and begins fisting it slowly, in time with the push and pull of his finger. 

“You’re doing good now, too.” Chan continues, whispering like he’s not the only one in his apartment. Changbin knows Jisung isn’t back yet, that Chan doesn’t actually have to keep quiet, and it makes everything feel more intimate. 

Changbin chooses then to add a second finger, crying out when he presses it in with the first. Chan doesn’t say anything this time, his only noise being a muffled groan. 

They’re mostly quiet for a few moments after that. Changbin works himself open, trying to keep his whining to a minimum. Chan, on the other hand, is getting louder and it only encourages Changbin to pick up his pace. 

“ _ Chan _ — _ please _ ,” Changbin begs when he finally adds a third finger. He doesn't know what he’s begging for. The string in his gut is uncoiling, getting stretched tighter. 

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Chan says, voice ragged. Changbin can tell Chan is getting close. 

“Your cock,” Changbin chokes out. Admits. “How much better it— _ ah— _ would be than my fingers.” 

“Fuck,  _ Changbin,”  _ Chan whines his name. Changbin writhes, trying to find a position that will let him fuck himself deeper. “I’m close,” Chan tells him. 

Changbin thinks about all the things he had done before with Chan, how willing Chan was to make him feel good, and about how Chan would probably fuck him however he wanted. He pushes in deeper with his fingers—in one last attempt to find his prostate. When his fingers brush up against the bundle of nerves, he doesn’t get a chance to even warn Chan as the string finally snaps and he comes in long spurts across his hand. Chan’s name falls from his lips in a sob.

Chan comes soon after, judging the telltale groan that sounds from the other end of the line. 

“Wow,” Changbin says when he finally finds his voice again. It feels a little stupid. 

Chan laughs, in the midst of more rustling from his side and then when he speaks, his voice sounds a little closer to the phone. “Thank you for doing that with me.” 

_ No problem? Anytime?   _ Changbin is quite sure what to say so he just hums. Maybe he’s just projecting or maybe Chan feels it too, but something feels different. 

“Goodnight, see you tomorrow,” Chan says. Fuck, Changbin kind of forgot he was going back to campus tomorrow. 

“Goodnight,” He echoes but his voice sounds a thousand miles away in his own ears. 

 

——

 

Changbin doesn’t see Chan the next day. Or the next.

He manages to avoid Chan for four days through a combination of feigning sick and studying for his finals. What he can’t avoid though, is Woojin and Minho catching on to his lies and dragging him to the library on reading day where their friend group is waiting. 

He and Chan make eye contact as soon as they walk into the room. Chan smiles, eyes lighting up before going back to the textbook spread out in front of him. 

“Are you feeling any better?” Jisung asks as Changbin takes a seat beside him. It’s clear by his face that he doesn’t believe Changbin was ever sick. Changbin doesn’t know how much Jisung actually knows about the situation but knowing how close he and Minho are, he wouldn’t be surprised if Jisung knows just about everything. 

“Uh, yeah, a little.” He sends a pointed look at Jisung.  _ Shut up.  _

“Great!” Jisung smiles, exchanging a look with Woojin across the table. “We just ordered pizza and it should be here soon. You don’t mind going downstairs with Chan to get it, right?” 

Changbin decides then and there he needs new friends. He was expecting to have to talk to Chan today but not one-on-one and especially not because his friends set him up. It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk to Chan. In reality, he really fucking misses his best friend. But he’s trying to come up with some way to call off their friends with benefits situation. 

On the table Changbin’s phone vibrates, startling him. He half expects the name on the screen to be Chan’s even though he never saw Chan pick up his own phone. It’s actually a text from Woojin that reads: _ Sorry but you have to talk to him at some point binnie.  _

Changbin knows Woojin is right but he’s not ready. And he’s still not ready ten minutes later when Jisung announces the pizza delivery should be outside. Changbin’s phone vibrates again and this time, the incoming text is from Minho. A simple “have fun” followed by a smiley face. Changbin types out “i will get you” as he silently follows Chan out of the study room. 

It’s still quiet between them when the elevator arrives. Changbin wants to break the silence, especially when Chan hits the button for the ninth floor instead of the ground floor, but he can’t find the words.  _ Sorry, I’ve been avoiding you? Hey, I think we should stop this? I’ve had feelings for you for almost a year and doing this whole friends with benefits thing is killing me? You hit the wrong button, dumbass?  _ They all sound like shit options if you ask him. 

The ninth floor is the top floor in the library and even it is packed. For a moment, Changbin thinks Chan might be trying to find a place for them to sit and talk privately but he leads Changbin all the way through the stacks to the back corner, straight into the bathroom. Memories of their last time in this bathroom flash through Changbin’s mind. 

Chan pulls him into the handicap stall and shuts the door behind them. This is usually the part when Chan starts kissing Changbin but he just steps back, eyes searching Changbin’s face. “You’ve been avoiding me.” Not a question. 

Changbin doesn’t have an explanation ready nor can he think of anything to say except, “Yes.” 

Chan leans back against the stall door. “Did I go too far?” And there Changbin’s heart goes again, twisting in his chest. 

He shakes his head. “I just think…maybe we should stop this.” He gestures to the space between them, eyes not meeting Chan’s. “I’m sorry.” His voice betrays him then, wobbling again as tears threaten to well up in his eyes. Chan is hugging him in an instant. 

He doesn’t even know why he’s about to cry. It’s not like they’re breaking up; they were never together in the first place. They were literally just friends with benefits and now they’re stopping that. 

“Binnie,  _ please  _ talk to me,” Chan says into Changbin’s hair. 

Changbin takes a deep, shaky breath but doesn’t move from where his head is buried in Chan’s shoulder as he speaks. “I know the whole deal with friends with benefits is not to catch feelings but I’ve liked you for a long time. Way longer than just this semester.” It comes out in a rushed mess but Chan seems to understand because he hugs Changbin just a little tighter. 

When they finally pull apart, Chan’s hands cup Changbin’s face. He smiles brightly at Changbin, giggling. “You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that.” 

“What?” Changbin isn’t sure he heard that right. He doesn’t know what it fucking means. 

“I like you too. So much.” Chan says. He runs a thumb across Changbin’s lips. “Can I kiss you?”

“ _ Please,”  _ Changbin whispers. 

And when Chan kisses him this time, it’s different from the past. He’s still careful but there’s no hesitancy, like when he used to try and determine if it was something Changbin really wanted. Now, he knows where he stands with Changbin and Changbin is happy to reciprocate his fervor. Changbin slowly walks them backward until Chan’s back is against the door again. 

“You guys didn’t actually order pizza, did you?” Changbin asks against Chan’s mouth.

Chan licks across Changbin’s lower lip and mouths up his jaw to his ear. He slides his hands from Changbin’s hips to the back pocket of his jeans. “Nope.” 

“How long do you think it’ll take them to come looking for us?” 

“Fifteen minutes?” 

Changbin lets a hand fall from Chan’s curls to the space between them, going straight for Chan’s belt. “Perfect.” 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for making the end soft and then immediately horny again. sometimes it be like that. 
> 
> kudos and comments are always appreciated 
> 
> my nsfw fic twitter is [here](https://twitter.com/sadpaths) its on priv but i'll accept reqs as long as you're over 18 (if i can't find your age somewhere on your account i'm not going to accept)


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